In short, I have always tried to find THE diet that will return me to my pre pregnancy weight of “slender”, since giving birth. My weight didn’t have a number, but I used to fit into size 27 jeans. Back in “pre” 1985, a size 27 jeans was a size 5 or 6. For a 5’10” female, that was quite slender. I used to be able to manage my weight effortlessly, even after having my child, but as I got closer to 30, the weight started coming on. I was curvier but not over weight. I felt womanly.
As I was approaching my 33rd birthday, I hit a fear point. That was the age that my mother had her first heart attack. I didn’t want that for myself so I started the Fit for Life diet. This is a mainly all fruit diet, at least that’s how I remember it. I stayed on it for a year much to my son’s dismay. I lost weight, felt great but when Christmas came around, I lost control of my eating and gained weight eating pretty much everything in site.
Then twelve years ago, I joined weight watchers the first time. Over the six months that I was an active member, I lost nearly 40 pounds. But, I learned how to cheat and still lose weight. Other members would describe how they ate the crap food and lost weight, so I followed suit. Not once do I recall the WW leader telling anyone that eating crappy food was not the healthy option. Just applause that we could have our “cake and eat too” attitude prevailed. I lost weight, but I wasn’t healthy. And eventually, I lost interest in the maintenance phase lost its appeal and the weight came back on.
About 5 years ago, I tried Atkins, well what I thought was Atkins. Lots of steak with cheese. Lots of bacon and eggs. No fruits. No veggies, just meat. I was grossed out after a few weeks and stopped that. Besides, I believed that eating like that would cause me to have a heart attack.
So I re-joined weight watchers. I lasted about 6 weeks, didn’t lose anything. I felt discouraged and there were a lot of personal things going on and comfort eating was more important. So, I lost all interest in healthy eating and life crumbled under me and sent me reeling into a tailspin.
About three years ago, I decided that a modified Atkins diet might work, but I would use eggs instead of meat. I called it the Eggkins diet. I did this for about 4 months. I lost some weight but nothing substantial. Why did I do this you may ask? I had heard a podcast where the speaker mentioned a study of a man who for nearly 10 years ate 25 eggs a day and he was slim and had no clogged arteries and was healthy for his age.
Then, I came across a Youtube video of a man who lost over 100 lbs juicing. I binge watched all of his videos from the start of his journey and decided that I would become a raw food juicing vegan. I read books on raw food veganism, I bought a juicing machine. I consumed so much fruit and vegetables and juices until my stomach burst and over the next 6-7 months, I lost nothing! Except a lot of money because eating raw organic fruits and veggies is very expensive – especially in Canada. I swallowed the whole line of eating like this for the planet and animals and started to drink the koolaid and became radicalised. But, I felt guilty because I missed eating fish and eggs. And if I talked about this on the forums I belonged to, I was attacked, had my posts deleted and made to feel like I was a horrible person because I was struggling.
After six months of this, I started eating cooked food (double gasp!) and I felt better. Then I had smoked salmon and felt even better. I felt calmer eating meat, and I added in eggs again and off I went on the paleo.
About 15 months ago, I gave up grain and processed sugar. Felt way better. I was eating fat again and mood stabilized and my depression started to lift.
But, on October 9th, I jumped off the wagon with both feet and had wheat and processed sugar. I’ve been free falling since. I am struggling with finding a balance again and that is why I joined weight watchers for the third time. Weight watchers has changed so much in the last few years that it isn’t just about starving and eating every thing fat free. There are still old ideas that fat makes you fat. That if you consume no fat, you will lose fat. I no longer believe that. There are too many human studies out there that prove that the body needs fat and depriving it of it is not healthy. I believe that vegetables oils obtained by chemical processing is worse for you than butter or lard (yes lard). I believe that margarines made with hydrolysed chemicals is worse for you than eating an egg yolk or two. The body needs fat to process many vitamins and minerals. There are such things as essential fatty acids that the body must get from external sources. Fat feeds the brain and lubricates the joints.
So this is my journey.